Children in our country today typically attend school K-12 prior to any other higher education. There is another school; however, that our children attend simultaneously as they find their way in K-12. I like to refer to it as “Birth” through “Moving Out” and it encompasses what influences children at home and outside in society. This very important simultaneous education is not completely influenced or taught solely through parenting. It is also instructed through friends, mentors, and ultimately the communities our children live and reside in. The need for these two schools of thought to work harmoniously together is paramount in giving our children the education they deserve. I’m not just talking about book smart education. I am talking about everything else we learn outside of school.
From Their Home to the Playground
Children continue their education by bringing what they learn back into school creating a Positive Guidance Loop™ of learning and knowledge between home, society and school.
When this Positive Guidance Loop™ is in motion and working harmoniously, the results are favorable and supportive toward our children. Children go through their day starting at home, going to school, venturing out after school into society and finding themselves back at home at the end of the day. All the while taking their experiences with them throughout the loop repeating the process daily. Each stage can undoubtedly effect the other two stages in a positive or negative manner depending on the experience the child has in one particular part of the loop. Each part of the loop is playing a key role in the overall development of the child’s life and ultimately all three parts of the Positive Guidance Loop™ come together to shape and mold the child’s core values and traits.
We live in an ever changing and complex world. What I believe is there are outside forces today in our society and our communities that place a strain on parents and teachers. In turn, these outside forces make it a challenge to find the time and resourcefulness needed to make sure each child stays on the right path — ultimately reaching the desired outcome we want for our children as parents and teachers. That desired outcome is different for everyone. On a micro level, these outcomes can be things such as a good job, supportive family and happiness for each child. Then, I think we could all agree, on a macro-level we want our children to be kind and accepting of everyone, no matter where they come from and ultimately, contributing members of society — which can be defined in many ways. The important thing to understand is that we need to look at the big picture.
Negative Effects on the PGL
These negative effects on the guidance loop are typically any of the outside forces placing a strain on parents and teachers. Both of whom are trying so hard every day and giving every ounce of effort to keep children on the right path within the loop. These outside forces include, lack of time, lack of money, inefficient resourcefulness and divorce or disruption of the family unit. What I want to discuss here are other remaining negative effects on the PGL that have a significant impact on our communities today. Lack of awareness, lack of a plan, lack of desire and lack of motivation are outside forces that negatively affect the Positive Guidance Loop™ making it difficult for the loop to work harmoniously as one cohesive unit.
Awareness, Plan, Desire and Motivation
In order to accomplish anything and get the desired results in a certain situation you need an awareness of that situation along with a specific plan. Couple this with a burning desire to succeed and you will be motivated to accomplish anything. When it comes to the elements of human interaction and societal structure and change, one of the major challenges placing a strain on relationships is simply the lack of awareness and lack of having a plan in place. There is often no significant level of desire to initiate change and the motivation is almost nonexistent. Our lives are often predicated on what we think or what we assume others will do for us in a certain sense. Said differently, we often base our lives on what can be accomplished by others. Either alleviating responsibility from ourselves or placing the responsibility solely on another person or group of people.
One example may be simple, such as not taking the time or having the time to review your child’s homework. The thought process usually goes, “I just don’t have the time to review and go over Sally’s homework, she’ll go over it in class with her teacher.” I will be the first to admit I have had that thought run through my mind at times when I am scrambling to get dinner on the table, nighttime showers and get the girls ready for bed so they get a good rest. This is more of a micro example of alleviating the responsibility from ourselves and placing it solely on another person.
On a macro level an example of this would be, “I just don’t have the time to help and give to this community of children in order to impact their lives, the government will take care of them and they will be fine.” In a way, most people may not even realize they are doing it. We are basing our lives on what we think or what we assume others will do for us in a particular situation. Our minds are tricking us and convincing us that it is correct to feel this way. It is not.
It’s important to take this thought process described above and relate it to the Positive Guidance Loop™ our children are educated in. Knowing that the child needs all the parts of the loop to work harmoniously together as one cohesive unit, how devastating would it be then if one part depended on the other to make up for a lack of responsibility. If society is not being responsible for its role in the guidance loop then how much harder is it on the parents and teachers? If parents at home are not doing their part or the school system is not doing its part…you can see where this is going.
A lack of awareness, lack of plan, lack of desire and lack of motivation are immensely huge outside forces placing a strain on each part of the guidance loop and ultimately our children’s lives. We owe it to them to build an awareness around their lives, create a plan that places them first, find that burning desire to enrich their lives and give birth to the motivation needed to take action. If we can accomplish this and help to eliminate these outside forces then our children will be able to experience the Positive Guidance Loop™ in a manner most beneficial to themselves. Each part of the guidance loop including parents, teachers and society as a whole, will start working together as the cohesive unit talked about previously.
The most important thing to understand though is this. We all must stop basing our lives and actions on what we assume others will do for us. We must all collectively step forward and give everything we have to benefit the growth and education of our children. They need each piece of the guidance loop working to full capacity in order to flourish and achieve the most beneficial outcome possible. If one piece does not pull its weight, depending on the others to pick up the slack, the results could be devastating and the child could be left vulnerable to a system that inadvertently gave up on him or her.